Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Giving thanks, & such...

Last year, around this time, I apologized for slacking in my blog writing & promised to come back, better than ever. Well...I lied. Not on purpose, but still, it was void of truth. I've purposefully taken time away from blogging/writing/poetry/open mic nights etc, to continue enhancing my growth. I've done the most spiritual/mental/emotional growth this past year, than I've done since I turned 20. From the age of 24 (the year of the dreaded "Blood Clot") til now, I was on a long wandering road finding myself.

 Finding myself in shambles...finding myself ashamed...finding myself confused...but no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find Jennifer.  And when one is not able to find one's self, it makes it hard to share of yourself. Unless of course you want to read something that looks like this:

 "45*@^#^@)*&&%%#$jdh jdkenu sksihjccn 2548s1d5x115x1@%@^$#**^%$$#..."

 That's literally how I felt inside for a long time...every time my eyes blinked, it was like seeing the world in slow motion...my brain was so busy trying to decode the gibberish spilling from my heart at warp speed, that it had no time to process normal everyday things like, Life..love...and the pursuit of happiness. But now...things are ok. And as much as I'd like to write a moving sermon on the things I dealt with inside, I'll save it for a later date.

 Moving on...a few people have asked me to blog about my relationship.

 Nope.

 Moving on...

 Since it's November, I figured I'd start back to blogging with a few words of thanks... I'm thankful...that I didn't punch some of my friends in their faces a few weeks ago.

"J, why you punching people in their faces"...I'll tell you why.

This year was an election year...and boy did it get ugly. So ugly, in fact, I had to log off of my social media sites to stop my fingers from involuntarily exploding all over my keyboard during election night. Now, before I move forward, let me be clear...I am not a straight ticket voter...I am not a "republican" nor am I a "democrat". As a matter of fact, during one election I voted for Bush. And not because of Bush himself (that man is quite the undesirable) but because of what the platform stood for that year. I am content in my beliefs and my choices. And I love my friends who are content in their beliefs and their choices. I adore conversing with intellectual minds who can come together & discuss philosophy and politics in a mature manner without making another man or women's opinion their own. Even Aristotle recognized this as the universal sign of wisdom. It's the blanket statement, ill-gotten fact finding, fake politicos I can't deal with.

 Being passionate about a matter is one thing...but openly making statements about "all black people" this and "all black people" that & posting racially charged statuses that pop up on my news feed, then high five me & invite out to lunch the next day at work is unacceptable.

 NEWSFLASH--I am NOT your token black friend that thinks its completely ok to rant and rave about your dislike for "black folk" who "must be truly ignorant" & "proved it by voting that coon back into office" *pause* No...not acceptable. Not at all. Not for any reason. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for social media being an outlet for people to express their feelings, however unconventional or ridiculous their feelings may be..but when those feelings start to leak over & attack the sheer fabric of an entire society, then questions should be raised. It's as if a "Black State of the Union" needs to be held every three months and broadcast from coffee shops and Super Cuts and grocery stores and other random places...they should put it on a loop...and expose those who feel like all "black folk" are ignorant, to another level of power. The power of an educated mind... *silent scream*
 I could go on and on but my tirade has to end somewhere...so let it be here.

Moral of the story?? Well...there isn't one really. I didn't punch anybody. Obama won. The Fallout is starting. The end =)

Meanwhile, I am also thankful for the simple things in life...the love of my family and friends and my significant other. I am thankful for the mind and heart to love others in spite of.  My energy and personality have effectively opened doors for me and created bridges on my path that may have never come to pass if it weren't for the favor of God upon my life. I am thankful for the cliche's...life...health...and strength. And above all, if this year has shown me nothing else, it's that I'm thankful for loving a God who loves me unconditionally. He has set my soul free in a way that a man or woman has never been able to do for me. He is my constant reminder that life is for the living..and living is not for the faint of heart.  He's given me the most priceless possession I own.  Peace.

 So..until next time young world..

 Love & Light...

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